First, a warning

 This blog is completely self indulgent. The only reason I made this a blog and not a diary entry is for like-minded people who might think they are alone out there. I want them to know they're not.

This is for quiet people who smile and nod when people are speaking bullshit. For those of you who leave idiots to confirm just how idiotic they are. Just because I don't call you out on lying, doesn't mean I believe you.

So, here's what you need to know: I am an introvert, I am in the creative field, I am over 50, I have a difficult marriage, I have kids. My journey has taken me to religion and away from it. 

I think that's enough to go on for now.

My first thought is hiding things. And by this I don't mean the horrendous act of posting only the good bits of life on social media... I mean the way families and couples hide things. 

I heard of an incident years ago: a man purchased a house in a wealthy neighbourhood and it left him in massive debt and broke. He decorated the first room in the house, but the rest of the house was empty and of course, there was no food. My first thought was, he obviously wanted to show off to people. But what happened if his guests needed the toilet? Did he tell them they couldn't go? Or did he allow them to find out his dastardly secret? Or maybe he only allowed them to visit for a short time? I know, my mind goes in very different directions to normal people. Can anybody relate?

It just never made sense to me. And the thing about trying to hide things is they are ALWAYS revealed. It seems as though there's a universal law that decrees secrets and hidden things will be exposed.

The same is true with families and the secrets they try voraciously to protect and hide. It has shocked me no end as to what is exposed - although sadly, it shouldn't. I should know by now that nothing is ever as it seems. So many people live like a woman who is being abused, but covers up the bruises with makeup and smiles brightly, making jokes about life. 

It always makes me think about how far we take loyalty in a family. How much do we hide unacceptable or abusive behaviour for the sake of loyalty? And don't think that I am exempt. I have done exactly the same thing.

I am not a royalty fan by any stretch of the imagination, the interesting thing is how people have responded to Harry's book and revelations about his family. Some are highly offended about his public declarations of what is essentially a private family affair. I don't agree. I think this a wonderful example of someone exposing hurt and subtle (and not so subtle) abuse. He's not the smartest boy, let's face it, and we all know he's doing it for the cash dollar - but good on him for breaking what can be a horribly destructive misplaced sense of loyalty.

I admire and applaud anyone who ventures on the path of getting help or breaking bonds at the risk of familial loyalty. I don't think there is any support for what you do except your own understanding that you cannot keep quiet and continue to suffer. 

And that is possibly the bravest thing anyone can do.